To The Ladies

Remember that time I said this blog was raw? Today’s post is probably the most real one I will ever write. As women, sometimes we don’t get the respect and/or appreciation we need daily. And if we do, then well we must be dreaming. We all watch movies that show the perfect man, father, best friend, boss, or any other sort of man that dictates some part in our life. Those men often don’t know how to communicate well. Sometimes you just need to know how well you’re doing in life. So I’m here as a woman, to a woman, to say to you what you have been waiting to hear.

To the mother…
That hasn’t been appreciated enough. YOU are loved. YOU are something special that made human beings. That in itself should be enough for you. But because I know it’s not here’s what you deserve to hear. No matter what your children say in life to you, you will always be the person they love most. You have given your entire world to your children and they appreciate you even if they don’t say it nearly enough. Thank you for making ours lives easier with the little things you do (or did): our laundry, cooking for us, making sure we did our homework, guiding us through life, teaching us the importance of emotions, and everything else you help us with. We would be lost without you, and that’s no lie. 

To the step-mother…
That doesn’t feel like a real mother. You are a hero. You are a mother. You chose to love a child that has no physical connection to you. But that emotional connection you have with your child (and I say “your” because blood doesn’t make a mother, your heart does) will last forever. No matter where you go in life that child’s well-being will be with you along the way. You make a difference everyday to that child. They look up to you just as much as any other parent in their life. They will take you into consideration. To you, you are a person that will love them unconditionally. Because we do, we love them with everything we have. The difference is… we don’t have to. We do because we are strong. We love hard. We care more about them than we do ourselves because well, that’s just who we are. In time, they will see that. But never, ever let someone tell you you are not a mother. You are.

To the wife….
That doesn’t get the recognition she deserves. Thank you, for taking care of the house, kids, and making sure we all have clean clothes and food on the table. You’re a great cook and I would choose your food over anyone else. You may not be appreciated for the small things you do by your husband everyday but I see them. I see you doing those dishes, wiping the counter, cleaning up after the kids, figuring out ways to make your man feel noticed and loved, and all the little things you do after a hard days work to make your family feel loved. You make life easier for your man, and if he doesn’t realize that then you deserve more. You deserve better. Don’t accept less than what you give to your husband. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are loved. Thank you for being a great wife.

To the sister…
That wakes up in the middle of the night to check on your brothers and sister because, for whatever reason, your parents can’t. I know you don’t get to live your childhood because you’re too busy making sure your siblings get to live theirs. You’ll miss all the exciting things in life because of your strong heart. Your siblings will end up loving you and appreciating you more than anything in their lives. But you will be left thinking about what you missed out on. But, when you have kids you’ll relive all those things you missed out on. You’ll realize that it wasn’t so bad not being able to play barbies all day because now you get to have tea parties with your mini me. Stay strong. You are essential in this world. You are noticed.

To the girlfriend…
That is questioning her importance to her boyfriend. What I have to say to you is real. Don’t question your importance. If you wake up once a week asking yourself if you mean anything to him, if he loves you, if he appreciates you, or anything else that makes you unworthy in his life…leave. You are young. You are beautiful. DO NOT settle. I see all the little things you do to make sure he feels loved.  To make sure he feels cared for. To make sure he knows that he’s important and a priority in your life. If you are not getting that back he doesn’t deserve you. You see a future with him, but he’s planning a life of his own. There is a man out there that will treat you like you treat him. He will give you everything you want in return because he cares about your happiness as much as you care about his. Never think that you can’t do better and stay out of fear.

To the side piece…
That can definitely do better. I know you, i understand you. You’re looking for something in all the wrong places. You spend hours with him and go home wishing you were the one falling asleep next to him. While he goes home to his wife, girlfriend, or family. I will say there is a difference. About 10% of these relationships actually work out, but about 90% will end with your heart broken or a family that doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes, both. You are worth more than an hour of someones time that forgets about you when you leave. If he isn’t actively trying to be with you and making an effort to give his whole self to you, don’t do it. I get the urge, I understand the desire. But I also know your heart. Your heart is more worthy; your heart deserves to be loved and whole. Move on. Give someone your heart that deserves it. Give someone your heart that can give you theirs in return. You’ll love harder and deeper than you ever thought possible.

 

There’s things in life that make us question who we are. What we all need to remember is we are able to change who we are. We can give ourselves the love we need. But, it’s always nice to be loved, cherished, appreciated, and given back what we do everyday. There will never be a “perfect” life for any of us. There will be hard times, there will be days we we are not sure what to do with ourselves. But one day, in the middle of the storm, you’ll find someone who makes that better. Who not only makes you feel loved, cherished, and important but who will physically make you better. He won’t be perfect but he’ll be perfect for you. You’ll hear a song that reminds you of him, walk by something in a store that puts a smile on your face because you remember when you cooked together, or something else that makes you think how ridiculously stupid it is that you can’t seem to get him off your mind. Keep him. Fight for him. You’ll become the girlfriend, wife, (step)mother, and grandmother we all strive to be one day. It’s biological. It’s fate. It’s what we are here to do as women. The future depends on us, and I depend on you. We are one and I couldn’t choose someone better to have by my side.

 

PS. Thank you to my mom who is a huge inspiration to me everyday. To my grandmas, one who has now moved on to the other side that helps mold me into the person I want to be everyday, and one who is too far away to understand what she means to me. To my aunts, cousins, and friends that stand behind me in my life and give me their support and shoulder to lean on when needed. To my best friend that is behind me in every decision, mistake, and life choice I choose. I love you all. You make me better. And you are all appreciated.